By Deacon Virginia Jenkins-Whatley
Luke 24:36b-48
When I was in college I worked in the local hospital as a nurses aide in the Oncology hospice care unit. I was terrified working there because you would have 5-10 terminal patients who pass away so quickly before you could get to know them. I was almost immune to final preparations for the deceased.
I did become attached to a very lovely married couple, Irene and Frank McDougal. Frank was hospitalized for a few weeks before he requested hospice care at home. On my nights off I would care for him and he would be so challenging. One night he told me I didn’t have to return because he was leaving. He said that I had been great. I could tell by the expression on his face he was serious. He gave me a bottle of Irish whiskey and said don’t drink it all at once. After all these years I still have that bottle.
After his passing I would visit with his wife. She was in and out of the hospital. A year had passed since Frank’s death. Irene and I talked about all the funny stories he would tell us. She had been in the hospital for three weeks and I tried spending time with her as much as I could.
I was home studying for finals around 11 p.m one night. I was drifting off to sleep and I heard someone calling my name but I didn’t see anyone outside. I lived alone and no one was in my apartment but me.
I took a shower and went to bed. I was getting very drowsy and I heard a voice again and turned and saw Irene just as plain as day sitting in my lounge chair. I looked at the clock and it was 11:10 pm She said she missed seeing me tonight. She said she just wanted to thank me for being so very nice to her and Frank. She said I was always a comfort to her and that she wished me the best in everything I want to do with my life. I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up, I wasn’t sure if I had dreamt about Irene or not.
I had one eye open and scanned the room. I was scared. Fear overcame me. I called her room at the hospital and no one answered. When I went to work that evening, I did not say anything to anyone. I went to Irene’s room and she was not there.
When we were given patient report they told me that she had passed away last night and was calling for me. They said that she passed at 11:10. I was terrified. I didn’t say a word. After my shift, I went home. I had every light on in the apartment. I asked my brother to meet me there so that he could take the lounge chair with him to his place.
In today’s reading, the disciples, also were startled and terrified. They looked as if they had seen a ghost. Then Jesus asks them “why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?” This is the first time Jesus had showed himself to all of the disciples since his resurrection. So perhaps the disciples had a right to be afraid. They had not experienced the resurrected Christ for themselves. I think it’s only natural for them to have been afraid. I think fear and being startled is a predicted reaction to seeing the deceased now raised. It may be easy for us to shake our heads in disbelief, but we are at an advantage. We know more about Jesus now than the disciples did at that time.
They experienced the loving, understanding Jesus. The Jesus who understood that despite telling them that he would be raised, that showing them his hands and feet is what it was going to take for them to believe. Jesus was willing to do whatever it was he needed to do so that the disciples would not be afraid.
Fear is such a powerful motivator in our current culture. It keeps us behind locked doors, much like the disciples. Fear keeps us from living fully into the disciples that God created us to be. Fear keeps us from accepting grace. Fear keeps us from full faith.
I feel that, when we resist the actions that Christ calls us to because of fear then we aren’t worshipping God, we are worshipping fear. We are a people who declare that Alleluia! Christ is risen! (Christ is risen indeed!) And when we declare that, we are declaring that not even death can stop Christ. Christ has defeated death. Christ can defeat our fears.
Jesus sees what the disciples need and he meets them where they are. He offers them his hands and feet, and then, after eating, encourages them to keep going. There is nothing to fear. Jesus reminds us of his promises by using scripture. Jesus frees them from their fear and Jesus frees us from ours.
We cannot escape fear. We can understand that Christ can triumph over fear. But that doesn’t mean that fear will no longer exist. We are witnesses to the fact that Christ has triumphed over death. We are witnesses that cry out “Alleluia! Christ is risen.” But as long as fear lingers, even behind closed doors in my bedroom, even in the nooks and crannies in our minds, we are not completely secure. Only Christ can save us. Our fears certainly can’t do that.
Jesus came to issue the disciples, and us a call. He came to remind us that our call is to proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins. But Christ shows us that hope is stronger than fear. Christ shows us that an empty tomb is stronger than a cross. Christ shows us that locked doors cannot keep him out.
Christ has called us to be a witness to his presence among us: in our words, in our deeds, and in our presence in the world. Our faith is stronger than our fear Faith moves us on, into the world, proclaiming Christ’s love and forgiveness to all people. Alleluia! Christ is Risen! (Christ is risen indeed, alleluia!)